HOW TO AVOID A NOSY NEIGHBOR
Before the coronavirus pandemic, neighbors went to work, got home, spent time with the family, and mowed the lawn. You know, typical suburban behavior. However, extra time spent at home during the recent coronavirus pandemic (or COVID19) tranformed people from unknown neighbors to nosy neighbors.
Now that the pandemic has passed, you may have a neighbor still exhibiting obsession and stalking behavior with the sense of entitlement to know what goes on around them and what happens outside and inside your home.
Unless you’re engaging in illegal acitivity, your neighbor has no business inserting themselves in your life.
I willl share (from personal experience) tips, tricks, and ways to avoid, deal with and get privacy from a nosy neighbor while maintaining a peaceful home and positive energy.
How the Nosy Neighbor Saga Began
We all have seen them, the neighborhood bully. Always watching, instigates trouble, and frequently calls the cops or inspectors on anything deemed suspicious or out of place in their mind.
While neighbors have it out with one another, accusing each other of tattling on one another, the nosy neighbor who instigated the drama stays silent, pops some popcorn, and watches it play out.
This type of personality makes you want to stay inside and never come out because when you do, in less than 30 seconds, your nosy neighbor will ambush you with an awkward greeting followed by invading your privacy by asking probing questions.
It began with a simple hello, an innocent 10-minute conversation, to which the brief interaction transformed into a complete nightmare scenario involving obsessive and stalking behavior over the course of a few years.
It was summer, and I decided my backyard needed some updating landscape wise. Summer in the northern hemispehere (specifically the midwest region) can be brutal with a month of 90 to 100 degree temps. Gardening enthusists get up early to beat the heat and retreat around 9 or 10 a.m.
You would think being up at 7 in the morning you would be the only one outside while everyone else is tucked away in their beds asleep. At times silence can be pure solutute.
Less than 5-minutes of arriving in the backyard, out of the corner of my eye was physical movement. Intrigued, I decided to continue to pursue my gardening chores. Perhaps someone else had the same idea as mine and we would consciously work in solitude.
To my surprise, a woman on the other side of my fence tiptoed her way into the backyard from an outside gate, stood close to my fence watching me for 10-minutes. I thought about saying something, but decided to see where this spying would go.
Perhaps after realizing I was heavily engaged in gardening, retreating back into the house was the best option. Slowly tiptoeing up the stairs to her deck, back inside without a sound or a morning greeting, she was gone without a trace.
Little did I know, this would be the beginning of my quest to get privacy from my nosy neighbor.
Future interactions would involve me coming out to the yard. Less than 1-minute of coming outside, Anna (not her real name) would come running down the stairs and would say hello. A simple “hello” or small talk can be a genuine or a way to engage in conversation to obtain information.
How did she know I was out here? Must either have spydie senses or just bored. I will note this same thing has happened others to the point I am the only one still coming outside.
I would learn later our brief interactions were aimed at gaining information about people in the neighborhood. Little did I know, this individual had a history of keeping a watchful eye on everyone. Anything you wanted to know about daily activities in the neighborhood, she knew it and wasn’t afraid to spill the beans.
One thing to know about narcissists is they enjoy hearing themselves talk. When she would ambush me and start to speak, I would nod hoping she would get the hint and go on about her business. Didn’t work.
I eventually realized there was a one-sided conversation occuring in which she would talk, and I would listen or politely nod. Have you ever heard of the phrase, “Keeping up with the Joneses”?
Once I realized trickery had occurred, I decided to ignore her. One thing for sure, narcissists hate to be ignored and don’t accept rejection well.
What would transpire over the next couple of years is something only written in fairy tales or can be seen on YouTube. Just Google “neighbors from hell”, and you can get plenty of examples of “bad behavior.”
Luckily, the situation didn’t turn violent, but thank my lucky stars I am no longer being ambushed and can tend to my yard in peace.
I won’t bore you with the details of the amount negative energy projected during that time. Plus this blog post would end up being 10-pages long (that is a conservative number).
Let’s get on with signs of a nosy neighbor and how to deal with them without negativley affecting your mental health.
Part II explains the signs of a nosy neighbor.