Most of us know someone who is currently taking care of a sick parent suffering from a chronic illness. As parents age, the state of health, ability to live independently, and safely is not an easy decision to make.

Reports of neglect and abuse in nursing homes and assisted living facilities through social media or hearing about it in the news is enough to cause added stress for families trying to do the right thing for a family member.

Another situation that can cause stress among the elderly and family members is viral illnesses for the elderly living in close quarters with ongoing health issues like diabetes, upper respiratory, asthma, and weakened immune systems.

Taking care of an elderly parent can put a strain on relationships.

Just writing a check and having a transactional relationship over a harmonious one, shouldn’t be the last resort.

We have to take care of the elderly. Social distancing isn’t healthy and causes suffering the wrong way.

When weighing the pros and cons of an elderly parent to remain at home as long as possible or go into assisted living, caregivers and seniors can benefit from the use of technology to simplify everyday tasks.

By delegating the small things, you too can have more time to spend with your loved ones who want to remain at home and avoid severe caregiver burnout.

Effects of Being a Caregiver

I saw my mom’s physical and mental health take a nosedive when her dad died followed by her mom 18 months later.

Even though she came from a family of 8, my grandparents towards the end of their lives choose her to make decisions on their behalf and settle their estate. 10 years later, I found myself becoming a tireless caregiver.

Over time, it became unsafe for my mom to be behind the wheel of an automobile. Anytime she wanted to go shopping, I would drop her off at the grocery store and wait for her to come out.

The time allowed me to catch up on email and schedule doctor’s appointments. On a couple of occasions, she emerged from the grocery store with a full shopping cart in tow of groceries and hunched over in pain.

On one shopping occasion, she told me her back was hurting so bad, she ended up sitting down on the floor.

As shoppers looked on, no one tried to help her, but someone did feel the need to say something off the wall to her that was totally inappropriate.

Luckily, individuals like my mom and other caregivers like myself can avoid hellish shopping situations through online shopping and delivery services.

In today’s digital environment, technology can empower independent living for disabled adults.

If you have the option to work from home, I recommend asking your boss or consider starting your own business. Check out my post on Is Working Remotely Right for You? to weigh the pros and cons of giving up the daily commute to live a healthy lifestyle.

Tips and Ideas to Reduce Caregiver Stress and Burnout

Public Transportation

No longer being able to drive is not the end of living independently. It took a couple of years to get my mom to try a public transportation service called Metro Mobility. The service is available to riders who are unable to use regular fixed-route buses due to a disability or health condition.

Depending on the route, peak and off peaks times, fare costs can range from $1-5 each way. She uses Metro Mobility to go grocery shopping, doctor’s appointments, and running small errands. One day I asked her if she needed a ride anywhere and she said, “no I have Metro Mobility”.

Online Grocery Delivery

After the incident of the customer saying something off the wall to her at the grocery store and experiencing chronic pain, I let my mom in on one of my secrets, online grocery delivery.

My flight arrived late in DC and there was no way I was going to venture out at night for groceries. I came across InstaCart. I tried the service and I have been a fan of online delivery ever since.

Most grocery stores today offer online grocery delivery and outsource packing and delivery to a third-party.

To avoid confusion, be sure to coach aging parents on what to do in the event of receiving a wrong order.

In the event of having to self isolate due to an illness, epidemic, pandemic, or natural disaster, instead of physically running errands, taking advantage of online delivery services can be very helpful.

House Repairs

Neglected houses go down in value. My mom found an organization that helps seniors stay in their homes by making it easier to get around in by adding handgrips for the shower. Now that she is in the system, all she has to do is call and ask for what she needs.

Let Someone Else do the Yard Work

When it comes to mowing the lawn or shoveling the driveway, she doesn’t have to worry about doing it as there are plenty of folks out there getting their side hustle on to help a neighbor out.

They make some extra cash for helping folks like my mom out and pay for their children’s activities or take care of their own parents.

The person that does her lawn just shows up. I am sure there are volunteers out there that would do it for free. You can find volunteers who can help with landscaping in the United States here and internationally here.

Vacuuming and Mopping

I am a QVC and HSN fan especially when I can’t sleep. It’s funny how you can find good deals late a night and with easy pay. I discovered the iRobot Roomba robotic vacuum and the iRobot Braava floor mopping robot on QVC.

Press the button, remote or schedule cleaning on using the app and let the robots clean. Now if someone could come out with a drone that can dust, that would be epic. A hack I learned was using a hairdryer to get rid of dust.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gnmrF0665Sk

Cooking and Ordering Out

This one is controversial for me as I feel like I might have created a monster, but hey shouldn’t we all enjoy life to the fullest? In addition to the online grocery delivery, the places my mom enjoyed driving/walking to now deliver to her.

The portions are so large that she can get a couple of meals out of them, which saves on cooking and the gas bill.

There are plenty of meal services out there that a volunteer is willing to bring to over from time to time. Starting a garden or going to the farmers market can lower the grocery bill plus it is a great way to be engaged, creative, and enjoy the outdoors.

Let the Store Come to You

Most of her prescription medication is delivered to her. Certain types of medication can’t be delivered in the mail. She calls the pharmacy ahead of time so I can pick up the order on my way home.

Many stores allow you to order online and pick up your order from customer service instead of standing in line with everyone else or have someone bring out your order to your car using the drive-up option again saving time standing in line.

Avoid the Post Office

Skip the long lines and schedule a pick up of your packages for USPS (Priority Mail Express items, Priority Mail items, or return items), FedEx (return package), and UPS (return package).

I like to purchase a three-pack of pre-paid flat rate boxes from the USPS online store with the address pre-printed on the boxes to donate magazines, used bras, and toiletries to different charities throughout the year.

Box and envelope sizes come in small, large, padded, and legal and can weigh up to 70lbs. Just write the address down, call or go online to schedule a pickup.

I use Stamps.com to weigh, print postage on envelopes, shipping labels for large packages, and schedule pickups online. Their YouTube channel has 1-3 minute videos that will teach you how to use the online postage features of the web-based software.

Finances

At the time of my grandma’s passing, she lived in a 5-bedroom Victorian house from the 1900s. It took months to go through everything and somehow most of it still sits in a garage untouched collecting dust. Living beyond one’s means is a problem.

No one should have to spend their hard-earned money or drain bank accounts to support an unrealistic lifestyle. With the rising cost of property taxes, it might be too expensive for someone to stay in their home.

One option can be to downsize and sell some of the household items for cash. The next option is donating to Goodwill for someone else to actually use and appreciate.

The very last option may be to file for bankruptcy and makes a lifestyle change. As the saying goes, “you can’t take it with you.”

Consolidate Households

A co-worker purchases a lot and moved his parents and in-laws in to avoid nursing home expenses. The large space allows each family privacy and to remain in close proximity to one another in case medical care is needed.

Adjusting to a change in environment doesn’t mean your loved one has to lose his/her home, quality of life or giving up independence.

Given the digital environment we live in, technology can free up time, allow us more time to be a caregiver, and pursue personal passions while working to provide financial support to loved ones in need.

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