WHEN TO LEAVE A JOB YOU LOVE DUE TO CHRONIC ILLNESS PART 2
Upon notification of you leaving the company, your boss or co-workers may not take the news well and can end up expressing sadness and regret in weird ways, like being hostile versus being empathetic.
Chronic illness is not a game. Mocking, making fun, or deliberately trying to humiliate another person is nasty and purely uncharitable.
No one should have to put up with an office bully or an unsupportive and lousy boss. You didn’t ask to get sick.
I experienced workplace harassment myself when I provided my supervisor with months notice due to increased complications with fibromyalgia, brain fog, chronic pain, headaches, and vertigo.
What I find interesting, when it comes to animal injuries and disabilities, humans are more compassionate to animals than to their fellow human beings.
We publicly call out animal abusers, demanding justice, punishment (rightfully so), and then reach into our pockets to contribute financially to an improved quality of life for the abused animal.
If there ever was an appropriate time to engage in dialogue, have a deep and thoughtful conversation about chronic illness, disability, and how employers can help employees to manage a chronic illness at work with reasonable work accommodations and thrive, that time is now.
Chronic Illness Is Not A Joke
Arriving in pairs at your desk in the morning to give the greeting of the day with off the wall comments, and then instigating verbal confrontations to get a reaction is pretty outlandish.
The ill behavior does make for some great reality TV, not.
My advice to you. It’s perfectly normal to show a lack of interest in playing games with adults masquerading as kids.
One of the plus sides being in constant pain is you don’t have the energy, drive, or give a $h^! to engage in verbal sparring.
Resting b!$@& face or RBF works wonders.
Performance Management Issues
Maintaining the same work performance before an invisible illness and engage in daily self-care and healthy holistic habits can become increasingly difficult to manage.
It slowly became apparent with each passing day that everyone in the office knew about my invisible illness.
The daily harassment got so bad that at the encouragement of friends and family, I agreed to their good idea to expedite my departure from the organization by leaving three months early.
Before leaving your job, if your replacement hasn’t been hired or identified internally, make sure your staff has the necessary tools to succeed after you until that person arrives.
On my last day, I sent out my last emails, quietly packed up the remainder of my things, turned in my company-issued equipment, and took my team out for a goodbye lunch to express my gratitude, and calm their nerves.
Earning a reputation for working well with different departments and agencies over the years can pay dividends in the form of an available support system that will be at your staffs’ fingertips on speed dial.
The Attempt To ‘Save Face‘
Depending on the position you hold in an organization, submitting a letter of resignation due to chronic illness can become political, less about you, and more about organizational perceptions and the reality of the underrepresentation of skills and colors of the rainbow.
There is nothing like calling ‘time’ on the psychological trickery of a boss attempting to spread propaganda by placing the blame on you for leaving the organization in an attempt to ‘save face’.
No more, “if you leave, you will disappoint me” threats. Enough of that already.
It’s not your job to make people feel comfortable with your medical condition or make the big, “I’m leaving my job because I’m sick” announcement with balloons and streamers.
Let someone else in the organization answer the 99 questions of why disability discrimination and workplace harassment is allowed and why the best and brightest are silently walking out the door unapologetically.
If you hate being the center of attention, come in after-hours to pack up your things.
On your last day, walk out the same way you came on your first day on the job, out the front door.
Quitting My Job Saved My Life
The experience of leaving a job you love can make you feel like a wounded animal, outnumbered with your head hunched over, and broken.
Trust me. You’re not broken. You’re just taking a rest to catch your breath before that next hoop shot, touchdown, ace, grand slam, or whatever sports analogy comes to mind.
Force yourself to press the reset button. Even if you feel a little shaky, force yourself to put one foot in front of the other.
You don’t have to do this alone. Surround yourself with people who care, support you, and leave the haters in the dust.
The ground isn’t going to crumble underneath you and if it does, your Apple Smartwatch, enabled with Emergency SOS will notice something isn’t right and automatically call 911.
Create Distance And Space To Heal
Upon leaving my office, I immediately created distance from my job and everyone associated with it.
Luckily there weren’t any children or significant assets to fight over in this less than amicable career divorce.
At least I got to keep my last name, engraved nameplate, and the free Microsoft Excel games I never got to play on company time.
Be prepared for the conspiracy theorists to emerge from under a rock who claim to know better than you why you left your job.
You may see an increased amount of social media traffic scrolling through your Facebook and LinkedIn pages anonymously, looking for clues and bread crumbs.
Hi, _________. I see you trolling me.
That vacation photo was a cryptic code for???
Well, let’s find out!
Oh, that one photo said it all. Me looking up to the sky over the horizon standing on a beach pondering life’s biggest mysteries, “what the heck am I going to eat for dinner?”
Wait a minute, who is that in the photo?
The look for bread crumbs and insight came to an abrupt end.
Walking Your Own Path
Celebrate your path to healing with a long road trip by visiting a couple of national parks.
The rugged landscapes and beautiful sunsets will remind you that life is precious and that those ankle biter problems aren’t that important.
Celebrate the milestones of your career, make the necessary lifestyle changes one day at a time, and get back what was stolen from you—your health and happiness.
The decision to leave my job wasn’t made overnight.
My health reality check came from my doctors, who stopped me from staying the course and overdoing it by working myself to death to prove there was nothing wrong with me.
No one should have to choose between health and wellness, being a caregiver for a sick parent, and a job.
I finally acknowledged I needed a lifestyle change and fast.
I was not happy about leaving a career I loved.
As I look back at my decision, quitting my job was the right decision and saved my life.
Learning And Growing Can Shape Your Tomorrow
Life’s greatest lessons have a mysterious and deliberate way of communicating to us in ways we don’t understand at the most inconvenient times. Time waits for no one.
Not everyone walks away from a job with a feeling of accomplishment.
Be unapologetic at what you have accomplished. It takes a lot of effort to erase your achievements from the record books.
The body isn’t meant to be in constant fight or flight mode long-term, but the body does have the means and the desire to heal itself when not operating in a hostile environment of continuous stress.
While one chapter closes, a new chapter simultaneously opens for you.
See your challenging experience as a learning opportunity to explore new career options.
Before quitting your job, make sure you have a financial plan and can maintain focus on your health while searching for other career opportunities.
In an attempt to reduce overhead costs on renting office space, travel expenses for employees, utilities, more companies are working hard to recruit and retain carefully sought knowledge and talent, by allowing employees to work from home.
Nordic countries Finland, Sweden, Norway, and Denmark have led the way on flexible work arrangments for decades.
Many chronic illness sufferers continue to work, going on to succeed in different career fields, or launch successful online businesses while prioritizing their health.
Thank The Universe For Your Haters
So there are no hard feelings, thank those around you. Please do it for you and no one else.
Your thank you letter, or email could start something like this:
To my office bullies, lurkers, and stalker who thought calling me names and accusing me of being a “faker” and not believing me when I spoke up about my (fill in the blank) diagnosis or medical condition.
I didn’t speak up for you, but for the silent majority fighting to get through the day in constant pain and people living with chronic illness who live in fear of anticipated stigma in the workplace struggling to keep working in a rewarding career they enjoy.
Thank you so very much for going out of your way to deliberately make it harder to do my job every day, while indulging in acts of intimidation and provocation.
It made for some good reality TV.
Two people against one were a bit unfair, even with my one hand tied behind my back.
Thank you for keystroking through cyberspace staring, glaring, and laughing at me while deliberately invading my privacy unannounced, without permission, and using company resources to do it.
Thank you for giving me the confidence to always believe in myself, no matter what, and the importance of global citizenship.
To think I can achieve anything and take the next steps in holistic living is the best gift ever.
Thank you for teaching me how to navigate and terminate harmful and toxic anomalies by throwing out the old and worn-out doormat and rolling out a new ‘welcome’ mat for my new best life.
Sending love and light. I wish you well.
Now put the pen down on the letter, or print out the email, walk over to the shredder (make sure it’s a cross-cut paper shredder) next to your desk, fireplace, or fire pit and let the negative energy burn into the abyss to tiny pieces of ash.
It’s over, time to move on. Permit yourself to live the best life on your terms.
My Story Has A Happy Ending
The turmoil I experienced does have a happy ending. I no longer have to worry about verbal threats and digital taunts adversely impacting my career development or showing up on my doorstep.
I will never return to the cubical farm. That ship has sailed.
I have the best job in the world, being a caregiver to a parent who demands to maintain some type of independence.
It’s been at times frustrating, yet the most rewarding job of my career.
If you are a caregiver, you know all about the challenges and triumphs each day brings.
Learning how to promote independence in the elderly has positive benefits for you and your loved one like making time for self-care without the guilt or losing yourself.
By encouraging independence, seniors have the opportunity to be more self-sufficient and maintain a better quality of life for themselves whether at home or in a residential care home.
This is possible due to having the option and flexibility to set my own hours and work from anywhere.
Life’s Greatest Lessons Are Learned Through Pain
Life’s greatest lessons are learned through pain. The light of life is given to those willing to accept life’s struggles, explore the meaning of truth, and find acceptance.
Even after the rug is pulled from under you, again and again, facing adversity head-on will bring more joy in life.
Don’t punish yourself and don’t blame yourself. Again, see what you can learn from the experience.
The adverse reaction from those around isn’t about you. The negative response means what you’re doing is right, folks are just plain jealous, and you’re more famous than you thought.
The proof? Right now an office bully is trolling your social media page.
It’s nice to be admired now and again isn’t it?
Bullying Based On Stigma Creates Isolation
Maintaining a sense of humor and facing everyday challenges and triumphs of an invisible illness head-on is my daily mantra. If you can’t laugh at yourself, somebody else will.
Anticipated stigma doesn’t help alleviate chronic illness and improve health and well being. Bullying creates social isolation.
When faced with adversity, remain resolute and “keep a stiff upper lip”. You have to keep carrying on and not give up. Refuse to be written off.
It doesn’t make you weak or lack emotion, just the opposite.
You’re just tweaking the art of giving zero f^#%$ in seeking permission to stand in your truth to look the invisible illness in the eye and, instead, explore healthy ways to manage chronic pain instead of just living with it.
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